{"title":"Kitchen Crimes","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"137\" data-end=\"179\"\u003eNot every great meal is made by the rules.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"181\" data-end=\"467\"\u003eThe Kitchen Crimes Collection is for the cooks who season by instinct, ignore recipes, and believe the best food comes with a little chaos. From over-stacked burgers to “trust me, it’ll be fine” techniques, these boards celebrate the glorious mischief that happens in real kitchens.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"469\" data-end=\"792\"\u003eEach Carver Co. board in this collection features bold, engraved humour designed to spark laughs, start conversations, and earn a permanent spot on the bench. Whether it’s a gift for a dad, a BBQ tragic, or someone who definitely shouldn’t be left alone with sharp knives — this collection delivers personality in every cut.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"794\" data-end=\"949\"\u003eCrafted from quality timber and made to be used, these aren’t novelty pieces. They’re functional, durable, and just cheeky enough to make cooking more fun.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"951\" data-end=\"1006\"\u003eBecause the best meals?\u003cbr\u003eThey usually break a few rules.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"cooking-is-to-die-for-cutting-board","title":"Cooking Is To Die For Cutting Board","description":"\u003cp\u003eCelebrate bold cooking and unapologetic kitchen confidence with the Cooking Is To Die For Cutting Board — a statement hardwood piece designed for cooks who like their food flavourful and their humour sharp. Featuring an intricately engraved skull-in-a-chef-hat design surrounded by classic kitchen tools and vintage detailing, this board brings personality, edge, and conversation-starting style to any kitchen or barbecue space.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAmerican-Made Quality\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCrafted from 100% American hardwood and proudly made in the USA, this board is designed to look striking on display while remaining suitable for everyday serving or light food preparation. Available in light Maple or rich dark Walnut hardwood. Available sizes are 8\" x 11\" and 5.5\" x 8\".\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePersonalization Available\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eUse the personalization box to enter the exact name you’d like engraved (case-sensitive). Please double-check spelling before checkout.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect Gift\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAn ideal gift for dads, BBQ lovers, home cooks, and anyone with a sharp sense of humour and a love for great food. Perfect for Father’s Day, birthdays, housewarmings, or just because. A functional yet memorable piece designed to be used, displayed, and appreciated for years to come.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eFree shipping within the United States 🇺🇸\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"teelaunch","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ Maple","offer_id":44818895798306,"sku":"MPLOVALTHN0806","price":55.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Small \/ Walnut","offer_id":44818895831074,"sku":"WALOVALTHN0806","price":60.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large \/ Maple","offer_id":44818895863842,"sku":"MPLOVALTHN1109","price":79.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large \/ Walnut","offer_id":44818895896610,"sku":"WALOVALTHN1109","price":89.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0861\/0096\/7458\/files\/Cooking_Is_To_Die_For_Cutting_Board_Light_H_Main_Mockup.png?v=1770614393"},{"product_id":"this-is-where-i-kill-the-vegetables","title":"This Is Where I Kill The Vegetables Cutting Board","description":"\u003cp\u003eCelebrate bold kitchen humour with the “This Is Where I Kill The Vegetables” Cutting Board — a cheeky, personality-packed hardwood piece designed for cooks who don’t take meal prep (or vegetables) too seriously. Featuring striking engraved typography, playful illustrated vegetable characters, and a dramatic knife graphic, this board brings laughs and attitude to any kitchen or barbecue setup.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAmerican-Made Quality\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCrafted from 100% American hardwood and proudly made in the USA, this board is designed to look great on display while still being suitable for everyday serving or light food preparation. Available in light Maple or rich dark Walnut hardwood. Available sizes: 8\" x 11\" and 5.5\" x 8\".\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect Gift\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAn ideal gift for housewarmings, birthdays, holidays, BBQ lovers, home cooks, or anyone with a dark sense of kitchen humour. A fun, conversation-starting piece designed to be used, displayed, and enjoyed for years to come.\u003cbr\u003eFree shipping within the United States 🇺🇸\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"teelaunch","offers":[{"title":"Small \/ Maple","offer_id":44822346137634,"sku":"MPLOVALTHN0806","price":55.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Small \/ Walnut","offer_id":44822346170402,"sku":"WALOVALTHN0806","price":60.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large \/ Maple","offer_id":44822346203170,"sku":"MPLOVALTHN1109","price":79.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large \/ Walnut","offer_id":44822346235938,"sku":"WALOVALTHN1109","price":89.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0861\/0096\/7458\/files\/This_Is_Where_I_Kill_The_Vegetables_Light_H_Main_Mockup.png?v=1770713288"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0861\/0096\/7458\/collections\/1_ffd9fc79-9a94-483d-a94d-b8bc53d255b9.png?v=1770700831","url":"https:\/\/thecarverco.com\/collections\/kitchen-crimes.oembed","provider":"The Carver Co.","version":"1.0","type":"link"}